The Vessel

As many of you know, I tend to take on more than I should. I like to push myself and go the extra mile when I should have sat down three miles ago. Now you would think that with the kidney issues rising again I would be slowing down and taking it easy, well that’s not happening. 

Something that I say in almost every prayer I pray is “Lord, make me a vessel.” I pray this because I have always been taught that if your not being used some way or another by God then you are being a container and keeping what God has given you to yourself. A vessel is something that is poured into then pours back out into other items, like plants and even more vessels. 

In 2014 when my kidney issues first began to arise, I was literally put on my back and became basically uninvolved in every area of my life. I almost went crazy going from being that guy you called on when you had any issue to being the “I wonder if he could handle this small task” guy. 

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not being affected as physically as before, or because I’m just blatantly ignoring it. I’m doing everything the doctors are telling me to do, but I’m not letting it slow me down this time. I have a great reason to say I can’t do things, but I have a better reason to say I will and want to do it. That reason is the fact that I’m not letting this illness become who I am. 

Bishop Foster told a small part of his battle with colon cancer this past Sunday and it rang around in my head for the past few days. He said:

“My wife and I had gone to the doctors to take a look at the cancer and the doctors continued to refer to it as MY cancer. Well after a couple of times my wife stopped him and said, ‘Sir, I’m going to have to correct you. That cancer is IN him and it is an invader, but it is not HIS and it has to get out.’ “

I can’t help but say that is how I feel about this second round of kidney failure. I know it’s there and it shouldn’t be, but it is not mine and it has to get gone. And until it is gone, I’m just gonna continue along as if it is already. I will continue to be a vessel until I no longer physically can. I was made to be used and not even kidney failure is going to stop that.

The Vessel part 2 coming soon!