I would like to share something that I haven’t told anyone yet, at least don’t recall telling anyone. So far through this second journey I believe I have heard from God twice. Both were as clear as day, as if someone was standing right next to me whispering in my ear.
The first happened the day I got the news about the kidney failing. I had decided to try and take a shower to clear my head. That plan didn’t work out so well and I pretty much broke down in a 2’x2′ shower with no hot water. I was standing there with hundreds of questions flooding my mind along with every emotion you can think of when it all stopped…
He said, “I will use this for My Glory.”
Afterwards I felt peace fill the room and I was able to collect myself. The rest of the week was still pretty hard and it took me a couple of days to truly recompose myself. But each time that it got especially difficult, I had those words to lean on.
The second time was up front during worship at church. I totally remember the song but we were singing, “I believe, I believe in You!” Each time I repeated the verse, I broke down a little more until I wasn’t even singing any more I was just speaking in tongues. Senior Pastor Wright came over and prayed for me and in the midst of that, God spoke to me again. This time posing a question…
“Do you truly believe?”
To which I responded, “Of course I do I always have.” Then He posed the question a second time and I answered again. This happened three times where He asked and I said I did. After the third time I had a slight revelation that I had never truly spoken out loud the fact that I believed that God could heal me.
I had always just assumed that as long as I had faith in my heart that it would happen and that would be good enough, but it wasn’t and I was wrong. He wanted me to proclaim it to show I really did have faith. I began to say, “I believe” over and over. These two words were no longer just the song that was being sung, but rather my proclamation of faith.
Although I don’t have a “Thus saith the Lord”, I still have faith. The title of today’s post is also the title to a song that has been on my heart since last Sunday morning.
’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.
Purpose in the Pain 
Another song comes to mind, “God is too wise to be mistaken; God is too good to be unkind. When you don’t understand, when you can’t see His plan, when you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.” Most people [superficially] believe the Lord is always in control, always has a plan, always directs the steps of a good man/woman, etc., But, it usually isn’t until we sojourn a personal “valley of the shadow” that we REALLY believe and know those statements to be true. We pray hundreds of times “Use me, Lord” but when He takes us up on the challenge it sometimes leaves our head spinning, wondering why. He doesn’t “use us” so much in moments of brilliant sunshine, cloudless skies, birds twittering and cherry blossoms blooming. But, it is in dark moments of weakness, pain, brokenness, helplessness, etc., that His light breaks forth and His glory is revealed. As per one of your previous posts, we are but the Vessel…not much glory in a clay pot – the good stuff is inside.
I learned this short poem many years ago and it has helped me through many days:
“I walked a mile with pleasure, she chatted all the way;
But I was none the wiser, for all she had to say.
I walked a mile with sorrow; not a word said she;
But, AH!, the lessons that I learned when sorrow walked with me!”
I love you and I, too, BELIEVE! ♥
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So proud of you Andrew! Surely He will get glory from this and you will be forever changed! Prayerfully, Lori
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